TY BURRELL: Gosh, thank you to anybody in the union that voted for me. This is amazing. I know most of you out here tonight have read my book, Acting: How To Do It Good, [laughter] but I thought maybe for some of the younger actors out there watching TV, I would just go back over my five simple steps for success. [laughter]
Number one: Be born into a family that’s never had an actor in it. That way they think that everything you do is cooler than it actually is. Thus giving you a false sense of confidence. [laughter]
Number two: Use that false sense of confidence to wound and trap a spouse who was better than you, and is willing to overlook the fact that you have no apparent skill set other than being a needy extrovert. [laughter]
Number three: Have no skill set other than being a needy extrovert. [laughter]
Number four: Use that lack of skill to fail over and over and over again until you stumble into a job written by Chris Lloyd, Steve Levitan and our entire writing staff. [applause] Also at that job, make sure your co-workers are the cast of “Modern Family.”
And number five: Have a knack for memorizing. [laughter] Thank you very much. Thank you.